Why Must My Interests Define Me?

Image via Wikipedia

I suppose it's the nature of my brain. When some new curiosity pops up, I exert much effort towards thinking it through, finding out more about it. I dive in head-first, and I don't like to be bothered to come back up for air. When, inevitably, something else pops up, my interest drags me away. I'm the guy who's dog is really walking him, instead of the other way around. As the metaphor implies, it feels like I don't really have control.

What's really strange is that, today, it is expected that we form our identity around our interests. I, for one, have a hard time doing this. I change my interests too much.

It bugs me beyond belief when someone I haven't talked to in awhile asks me how x is going, even though x hasn't crossed my mind in two years. How strange that someone's entire mental image of me centers around something that was only a passing curiosity. I can't help but feel that they have no idea who I am.

We're confronted with the challenge of defining ourselves in terms of our curiosities at all turns in life. People ask us: "what do you do?" (or if you're in college: "what's your major?") before they ask anything else. They check out our books, magazines, blogs, facebook "info" pages, groups we're involved with, etc. They attach eternal significance to chance topics of conversation we initiate. They judge us accordingly. Their opinion of our interests becomes their opinion of us.

In truth, I suspect that we are in far less control of our interests than we may believe. I might even say that there are no true interests - only curiosities that have overstayed their natural course, due to convenience or other personal attachments.

In my own life I have noticed that I can be interested in anything, if I find the correct point of entry. Most of the time, we only see the external appearance of a subject, and it doesn't make sense to us, so we dismiss it. There are things that I am not gripped by (chemistry, for instance), but that doesn't mean that I couldn't be gripped by it. All I need is the time and a proper introduction. I think that's all anyone needs.

To be clear, a proper introduction does not mean "Chemistry 101". A proper introduction is more like having a real sense of the unknown, the itch that the subject tries to scratch. Some people are so infectious with their itch, that they give their itch to us. These are what we call good communicators.

People who get you itchy are, and always will be, rare.

The prevailing wisdom of today is that the internet will enable a cornucopia of long-tail tribes to flourish. I doubt the niches will be as charismatic as some would describe. Maybe your business benefits from the capitalist principle of specialization, and you are a peddler of highly-specific-use wares. Maybe there are about 50 others like you, now able to connect for the first time due to the internet.

I don't think a tribe will form around it. Capitalism's long tail of trade vastly outstretches the human talent to get others itchy.